Everyday goes by fast. 
One moment you are waking up and another moment you are going to sleep.
At first I thought I just need to not waste my time then I won't feel that time is going by fast.
Now I realize that it is because of my mind. MIND.
I am not paying attention to my life.
I am wandering, worried, afraid, procrastinating, not making conscious decision, you name it.
That's the irony isn't it?
You wish that time can go faster and then one day you realize that you have missed your life.

The madam is telling a story. 
A story of it is all others' fault.
How can I be wrong for what I have done?
I have sacrificed so much and now see how they treat me!
When I point out to her that what if it is her fault, 
she protect her ego by becoming angry.

For how many times have we kept telling ourselves stories of it is not our fault?
Somehow we feel good when telling these stories,
and I know that it is alright to not keep the burden of these stories lonely with us,
but it is definitely not alright to let them taking away our choice.
We can always take control of our choice, 
and that starts with telling ourselves a new story!
Stories that we are in fact the one who make our choice!

Take Your Fear Back

Take your fear back.

Take your fear back from the future.

If you want to be afraid, be afraid in the present.

Our minds are like a group of lights in the darkness.

This present moment, now, is where the lights emanate from. 

When we project our minds into the past or the future,

it's like sending our soldiers, our guardians, a.k.a. the lights into the darkness.

This is ridiculous! Totally a suicidal mission.

But they will come back, bringing with them,

anger and guilt from the past, and fear and worry from the future.

Why do we do this?

Venture into the darkness to get all these thoughts and emotions that do not serve us? 

This is sheer insanity!

I say we pull our guardians back, 

into the now, 

into where all the energy and faith and love stay together.

We keep all the lights together in this present moment, 

then form a fortress around them, right here, right now,

let the guardians watch the perimeter,

all the unwanted thoughts, memories, emotions, shall never be allowed to enter into the lights.

From now on, we stick together, 

we do not fight the darkness,

instead we hold together to make sure our lights never dim out. 

昨天出去时碰见了你，我说了嗨；
然后回来时又遇见了你，
你朋友告诉你：“你的朋友。”
你热情的笑容和招手，
把空气中的幸福都打进了我的心里。
隔天，准备和你的眼神相遇我又实现了这个小小心愿。
如果连续三次的相遇是方程式，
那缘分应该就是答案。

Ordinary day

Today, an ordinary day, as the same kind with yesterday, the day before yesterday, and the days before yesterday.

Waking up in the morning, and the goals are still there waiting to be attained, together with the hope in my heart, the fear in my mind, and the procrastination in my action.

Time flies, but I know I can outrun her.

But when I hold her in my hand, emptiness perpetuates the whole of me.

How could this be?

OK, stop all the bulls**t.

I don’t need to listen to my fear.

I don’t need to wait for my feeling to get in tune for me to do what I know I need to do.

I am not yet ready, but I will take action anyway.

I am uncomfortable, but I will get used to it.

I am afraid of the future, but I will reclaim my life by living in the present moment.

Here I am, still having no idea on how to conquer myself, but I will start with being aware of how I use my mind and how I spend my time.  

Today is still an ordinary day.

But this is me living a more extraordinary me.

午餐。安静。
然后才发现邻桌在用手语沟通。
这时我的心也静了。
我在抱怨什么？
是我拥有能看到让自己不开心的人事物的视觉吗？
是我拥有能听见让自己生气的声音的听觉吗？
还是这世界的和平让我成为资本主义的一份子？
除了感恩，还有什么是需要的？

You are like a chopper, comes and goes in no time.
You take off with north wind, and leave the dust with me.
I see the contour of your beauty, while you look at the reflection in my eyes.
the tears just come out, carry with it the tears in the reflection,
just like you carry away my years of waiting..
and all those years, the Sun's warmth and light.